Conversations for the Start of the School Year
Your children are back in school, and you want to hear all about it. What is the teacher like? Has your child made any new friends? Your kids, however, aren't telling. They are tired at the end of the day, focused on getting the right supplies ("She said a notebook without holes!"), and seem to enjoy the idea that it's their classroom and not yours.
Pressuring kids to share the details of their day doesn't work. The first days of school are tiring, and kids are still processing all that is new. Besides, children have difficulty summarizing an entire day's worth of activities. Since it may take something specific to remind them of an event or comment, kids often share important revelations at unexpected moments. Some of the times when parents hear about the day are while playing a board game or setting the table together, or before kids drift off to sleep.
Here are some suggestions for talking about the day with your child:
Asking specific questions such as "Whom did you sit next to at lunch?" or "Whose locker is next to yours?" can help kids focus and may get a discussion started.
Talking about your day will make a conversation interactive. Reciprocity is key for discussions, even with young kids.
Listening without criticizing encourages kids to share their experiences. Remember that tone of voice and pointed questions ("Why didn't you just speak up?") can be perceived as judgmental and may make kids clam up.
Reading together provides an opportunity for kids and parents to talk. A character or picture may trigger your child's memory of some of the day's events.
The September issues of Highlights High Five™ and Highlights® provide an array of articles that can spark discussions between parents and kids. For instance, in High Five, the feature "Build It" may remind your child of the structure he and a new friend created in the block corner in preschool. On the other hand, it may be the "Play Along!" activity that gets your child talking about a song learned, or "That's Silly!" will prompt a conversation about a funny story the teacher read.
Older children, better able to organize and summarize their experiences, may find Highlights a vehicle for talking about their day as well. "The Class List," a story about best friends who both switch classes to be together, may elicit some emotions about which friends are, and aren't, in the same class. The "Hide-and-Seek" article about animals might remind your child of the new class pet or something that happened in the science room. And the profile of shortstop David Eckstein, who is five feet seven, can spark a conversation about gym class, or which kids have grown over the summer, or your child's feelings about his own height.
The start of the school year is a bustling time! Be patient.