It’s a Funny Thing...
By Istar Schwager, Ph.D.
It's a funny thing that humor doesn't get more respect. But of course, respectability is one of the things that humor loves to deflate. Did you ever hear the one about the pompous actor who asks the doorman at a nursing home, "Do you know who I am?" only to be told "No, but they can tell you at the desk."
In studying humor in depth, I discovered it was a topic with more "legs" than a centipede—or at least a horse. Humor draws on creativity, emotion, and intellect. It eases social tensions, and laughter has enormous physiological benefits. Since a world without laughter would be pretty glum, as parents it's worth considering the key role humor plays in our kids' lives—and our own.
What Makes Something Funny?
The research on humor indicates that what's funny is based on the unexpected. We are amused when something is incongruous or out of place. Consider the rule of threes, which sets up an expectation with two items and surprises us with the third, as in: My favorite sports are tennis, swimming, and sleeping or a sign that reads: No eating, drinking, or flying.
However, not everything unexpected is funny. Whether we react with laughter, indifference, or tears depends on the context, who we're with, the setting, and our comfort level. If we're not in a receptive mood, humor may be irritating. Other times it will cheer us up. When we're in a convivial frame of mind we even may start laughing before the joke is finished.
There's also a fine line between humor and fear. When little children are confronted with a jack-in-the box for the first time, they are typically startled rather than amused. But repeated exposure will help them anticipate and laugh with delight as the head pops back up.
There are also reasons we find some jokes more appealing than others. This often has to do with how much effort it takes to understand the humor. To find a joke truly witty, we need to stretch our minds. A bit of exertion followed by the relief of "getting" the joke helps explain the dynamics of laughter. But if the joke is too topical, too obscure, or an "in" joke that we're not in on, it will soar right over our heads.
What Kids Find Funny
Isn't it amazing that in every generation, kids gleefully exchange knock-knock jokes and riddles based on sound similarities? It's equally astounding that certain types of jokes always appeal to kids at particular ages.
The stages of child development play a vital role in how children appreciate humor. A child's development can actually be gauged by what he finds funny. Since kids' comprehension is continually growing, what they find funny also keeps changing.
Preschool children are amused by verbal and visual incongruities. Once they are fairly certain that a dog can't fly or that a pig doesn't wear a beret, pictures of these silly combinations evoke mirth. The same goes for word mix-ups. Call an object by the wrong name, and your preschooler will howl with delight.
Six- and seven-year-olds are thrilled with the discovery that two words can have the same meaning. At this stage of development puns and riddles provide just the right amount of challenge. Children's need to stretch to understand the jokes and puns insures that there is just enough effort to evoke laughter once they "get it."
Conceptual humor reflects children's developing understanding of how the world works. For example, if an older child asks: "Which weighs more, a pound of lead or a pound of feathers?" a younger kid who doesn't yet recognize that a pound is constant but knows that lead is heavy and feathers light, will answer lead. Ah-ha! The older child who has posed the question and has recently understood that a pound is a pound considers this trick question absolutely brilliant.
Enjoying Humor with Your Family
Sharing laughter is a great way to bond. There are many ways families can express and appreciate humor. I grew up with a father who loved to read and retell wonderful jokes from the newspaper. Very different were my two uncles, who enjoyed spontaneous repartee and could spot the makings of a quip from a mile a way. While some people seem to be born funny, even the most serious souls can enjoy humor and learn to use it to communicate.
Humor takes a number of forms—from slapstick to subtle wit—with numerous flavors in between. Remember, though, that humor sometimes has a mean edge and that what's said in jest may sting.
When you're joking with kids, sarcasm, teasing, and mocking are out of bounds. Young children are literal thinkers. They may not realize you're kidding. Children should also be reminded not to turn these mean-spirited forms of humor against others.
One of the great times to laugh together is when things go wrong and there's nothing you can do about it. When the car breaks down on a family vacation or you burn the vegetables or you're all hopelessly late for an appointment, it helps enormously if you can laugh instead of becoming agitated. Laughter is a healthy safety valve, and families that can discover a thread of humor in a difficult situation have a great resource. Keep a joke book in the car—just in case.
Here are a number of resources for sharing humor with your kids:
To find age-appropriate jokes, check out the pages of Highlights ® and Highlights High Five ™, and visit HighlightsKids.com ®.
To help your kids make a great joke book, go to Make a Family Joke Book!.
For tips on how to share jokes, riddles, and stories, go to 8 Ways to Enjoy Humor with Your Kids.