Transitions: Easing into the Start of School
By Istar Schwager, Ph.D.
People Don't Have Gears!
Have you ever noticed that many of the terms we use to describe transitions come from the world of machines? Consider "wind down," "switch gears," and "get up to speed." But people don't have gears! And preparing for or coping with change isn't as easy as downshifting. My six-year-old neighbor, Tessa, just said a teary farewell to each corner of her old room as the moving van idled outside. Like Tessa, kids need a chance to process the feelings they experience from both negative and positive changes.
It's sometimes easy to forget that our kids, and we parents, need time to prepare emotionally and physically for the shift from splashing to studying. Here are some things that may help ease your transition from summer vacation to back-to-school.
Create continuity.
As the "first day" approaches, it helps to provide some pleasant overlap between summer and school. It's recommended that kids begin to get sleep on a "school night" schedule for a week or so before classes start. Gathering school supplies and reconnecting with classmates helps ease the transition. As you get ready for a more structured schedule, it's also good to keep on doing some of your favorite summer activities, like an afternoon at the beach or a picnic.
Mark time visually.
Time is subjective. I find some weeks feel like a year, others a matter of hours. Use a calendar to help the family see how much time is left before school begins. Marking time concretely works for smaller transitions, too. For instance, you can use a timer to help your kids see how much longer they have to play before it's time to clean up.
Manage expectations.
Most kids find it reassuring to know what's next. For kids starting school, this may mean visiting the school building, meeting the teacher, and answering questions to clear up any misconceptions. Be reassuring that school is a happy place.
Conserve energy.
New activities require greater physical and emotional energy than routines. Allow extra time to get to school. You and your kids will feel less stress if you're not rushed or late. Be patient during the beginning of the school year, and don't schedule long days with appointments or shopping. Give kids time to rest, nap, and digest all that's new.
Create routines.
The beginning of the school year is a good time to set up schedules and routines. Morning and bedtime routines make the rest of the year easier. Kids who have regular study habits don't have to reinvent the wheel every time a project is due.
Consider your kids' point of view.
Kids may have entirely different concerns than we parents imagine. One study found that kids were most focused on understanding the do's and don'ts of classroom rules. They may also be focused on fitting in. (As a seventh-grader, I spent the week before school looking for a particular pair of socks that I imagined "everyone" would be wearing.)
Encourage conversation.
Don't feel rejected if your kids aren't forthcoming about the first days of school. They may not be able or ready to put it all into words. For tips on how to encourage conversations about school, go to Conversations for the Start of the School Year.
Take care of yourself, too!
Parents express different reactions to back-to-school. Some feel relieved by the greater structure; others miss the easygoing feel of summer. Recognize that this time of year places new demands on you, too. Be sure to give yourself extra rest and care. Parents' Poll: How Does "Back to School" Impact You?.
For additional suggestions on back-to-school transitions from the National Association of School Psychologists, go to www.nasponline.org.