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Contact: Patricia M. Mikelson
Highlights Corporate Communications
pmmikelson@highlights-corp.com or 614-324-7003

Parents Share Tips for Handling Public Tantrums

HighlightsParents.com Poll Reveals Majority Favor Negotiating with Kids

March 17, 2008 (Columbus, OH)—Parents favor negotiation over saying "no" when kids beg for items on shopping trips, reports a poll released today by HighlightsParents.com, a website by Highlights for Children that provides information to families and a place to exchange parenting tips.

Hundreds of parents responded to the site's poll on how they avert and handle tantrums while shopping. Almost all, (99%) reported that they "usually" (64%) or "sometimes" (35%) bring their kids shopping with them. There was a clear split in how they handle kids' requests for items the parents did not intend to buy. Just over half the respondents (52%) said that they negotiate with their kids, while many others (42%) say "no way." Only a few (6%) indicated that they usually relent.

Parents shared strategies for helping their kids through those "I want it now!" moments without escalating to tears or tantrums, including:

• Have realistic expectations. Do not bring an overtired child shopping.
• Keep a notebook and write down the requested item for a "gift list" to be used for holidays and birthdays.
• If they have their own money to spend, allow children to bring their allowance or savings jar when shopping, and help them to do the math and decide whether they want to let go of their hard-saved pennies. At the very least, it's an opportunity to practice some math!
• If the item is small and within your means, purchase it, but use it as a prize for good behavior or chores later in the week.

"When prevention and distraction don't work and a tantrum occurs, it becomes a judgment call whether to go or stay. It depends on the degree of meltdown, the disruption that it causes others in the setting, and your own resilience," says Istar Schwager Ph.D., educational psychologist and consulting editor of HighlightsParents.com.

If a tantrum in a store or restaurant does result, parents varied in their techniques for handling them.

• Many leave when a tantrum begins and return home. Some find that removing the child from the situation provides a chance for the child to cool down.
• Another popular answer was to distract kids, especially very young kids, with toys, activities or snacks parents make sure to keep on hand.
• A few parents said that they try to remain calm, wait the tantrum out, and hope that bystanders will understand.

HighlightsParents.com is created by Highlights for Children, the publisher of Highlights magazine, the most widely-read children's magazine in the nation, and Highlights High Five, a magazine for children ages 2-6 and an iParenting Media Award winner. HighlightsParents.com offers articles on coping with day-to-day conflicts such as child-care, homework, discipline and sibling rivalry, activities to do with kids, as well as parent-to-parent advice from readers.

For additional information about Highlights for Children, Inc., please contact Hillary Bates, Communications Specialist, at (614) 487-2640 or habates@highlights-corp.com.